Girls' Night Out Murder...and MY version of the celebration that followed!

 

 So this is my version of how it happened...

I mentioned to James that Girls' Night Out Murder should be in paperback around the 23rd or 24th of April. He gets very excited!! See, that's where I should have known IMMEDIATELY something wasn't quite right. Because the truth is, while James indulges my passion and is quite proud of me when my books come out, he's CONSTANTLY on me about spending so much time writing that the housework gets behind. So the fact he was EXCITED should have tipped me off!

Anyway, I digress...so, I tell him my second book is due out soon, and he says, "We should celebrate!" My mind went wild!  My neurons are snapping all over the place, visions of different ideas pop into my brain...it's a kaleidoscope of colors, sounds, smells...euphoria. I settle on our family dynamic reality and figure a day of window shopping (because I HATE spending money), and a nice dinner at Hereford House in Zona Rosa complete with steak and glass (bottle) of Cabernet would totally make me happy. 

 As I was getting ready to formulate my plan, he says innocently, "Hey, why don't I see if the Royals are in town then?" Like the idea suddenly just came to him!!!  How blonde do you think I am?

HHHMMMM...now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE going to the games, but I'm not sure this was ever my first response to WE SHOULD CELEBRATE...I also knew my reaction to this "innocent" suggestion was going to set the tone for the rest of the evening.

 So, that's how we ended up here...at Kauffman Stadium, James, Maddy and myself, all celebrating the release of Girls' Night Out Murder.  Was it worth it? Yes! We always try to get our picture with the Moose antler guy, Maddy fills up on countless snacks...and tonight was extra special...Chris Young stopped to sign Maddy's hat!!!                                          

So that's my story and I'm sticking to it! James may tell a different version, but since he doesn't blog (and rarely ever reads anything I write), I figure my version is the CORRECT VERSION!

Thanks everyone for the many well wishes and support I've received as I embark on this endeavor. It's my second book, and I hope to have book 3 out by September/October.

The Buhman Family: Steeped in Tradition, Respect, and Honor

 I attended another funeral today for the Buhman family. The Buhmans had thirteen original long-living brothers and sisters that pretty much all settled down around each other. The Guinness World Record people a few years ago narrowed our family and another family in Italy down as the highest sum in years of siblings living over the age of 80. Our family had over 900 years, I believe it was, of the original brothers and sisters still living.  But like everything in life, death is inevitable. The last couple years has brought funerals for many of these original thirteen brothers and sisters. 

 These brothers and sisters were a close-knit Catholic family. They brought their numerous children up devout and steeped in tradition. As I sat in the church today, I was overcome by the powerful statement made when there are so many priests attending a funeral that they can't all fit on the altar. When over three-fourths of the church is roped off just for family members...you know parents have done something right.

Yet the amazing thing about this large family is that the original thirteen brothers and sisters instilled in their children a God-given love for one another. In no other family have I ever witnessed sisters, brothers, cousins love one another so effortlessly. I have NEVER witnessed an adult brother or sister argue or talk badly about one another...Ever! And in a huge, huge family, that's virtually unheard of. I watched my aunts (the second generation cousins) today make sure friends were seated upstairs in the balcony, I watched them unrope the sections so the immediate family members could start walking down the aisle with the casket, and I watched them make sure their grieving cousins were taken care of.  I watched a loving family hold one another up in love.

 Most of the first and second generation family members stayed right here in this general area, while some of the third and fourth generations are moving around. My dad is the only roamer out of seven kids in his family. All of his brothers and sisters live within an hour or two of each other. However, he will come back for every funeral usually. A few months ago when another family member had passed, he was unable to fly back and attend. Being a third generation Buhman, we are still young enough we usually stand in the back or sit in the balcony so the older family members can sit (yes, the funerals are all pretty much held in the same church). I had waved to my aunts and uncles when I walked in the church and one of them leaned over and said, "Since your dad can't be here, you need to represent for him." The emotion I felt when she said that was indescribable. Just like that...I was to stand in the gap. And that's really how this large family is. They know how to stand in the gap for one another.

One of the third generation cousins voiced her fear to me today...she said she's afraid of what will happen to the family now that seven of the original brothers and sisters have passed away. I told her to take a look around. I could point to nearly every second generation cousin and tell you which branch of the family they belonged to. Many of them had already lost their parents, and yet no one was forcing them to be here...they were here out of love, honor, respect, and tradition. I think that says a lot. 

Now, you may be thinking that I'm too biased to be objective about what I see in this tight-knit loving family. But I'm not...because you see there is something different about me. My sister and I were adopted. When I was nine, Bob gave us his name when he married my mother. And while I use his name and attend Buhman events, there is one glaring fact that can't be overlooked: I do not look like any of them. LOL...and for those of you who know the Buhmans, you know what I'm saying. Every single one of them looks alike. I can tell Uncle Ermit's kids immediately. I can tell Uncle Harold's kids immediately. I can pretty much tell all the branches immediately. They all--whether male or female--have the same prominent nose and a full head of white hair. Doesn't matter if they are twenty-four or one hundred and four (or one hundred and five in Uncle Johnnie's case)...they all look alike.

 I was standing next to my cousin, Laura, in line today and all the first and second generation family was coming over and hugging her and calling her by name. When they got to me they do what they usually do...scrunch their brow.  I can see the wheels turning...they can't immediately place me. Of course not...I look nothing like them...lol...and that throws them for a loop! There's no cheat-sheet with me. But I always say the same thing. I say, "I'm Bob's oldest girl." I don't even really have a name, I'm just Bob's oldest. "Oh, yes, oh, yes...Bob's oldest girl! Of Course!"

After about the fourth time of doing that today, I leaned over to my cousin Matt and said, "I always feel so out of place. I don't look like anyone here." He said, "Jenna, I've never thought that about you. You do fit in here." And while it was a blessed and beautiful thing he said, I couldn't help but laugh a little. Because with his prominent nose and course black hair starting to turn white, he looks so much like his dad and grandpa, I can't hardly recognize him as an individual...he's just developing into an older generation Buhman.

I'm very proud to have been raised in a family that believes in the sanctity of family and tradition. For what the thirteen original brothers and sisters did was make sure that after they left this Earth, the children and grandchildren they left behind would still want to spend their days together. And in this day and age that says a lot. A more beautiful legacy I can't imagine.     

My Sister Made Me Laugh Today...

My sister called this morning to say she received a paperback version of Picture Perfect Murder. This was the first time she'd held the actual book in her hand and could see how the cover turned out. We'd been shot down multiple times from the publishing place because of size.

We discussed the Pros and Cons of the book cover...what we want to keep and what we want to change for the second book. Juliana suddenly laughed and said, "Thirty books from now we will look back at this book cover and laugh and laugh!" And while I laughed with her, I quickly assured her that I LOVED this book cover...if nothing more than for the fact it was our first! Everyone always remembers their first.

And then I got excited at the thought of THIRTY MORE BOOKS! LOL...her belief that we will still be together writing, editing, and designing books years from now makes my heart happy! I'm very thankful for the time in which I live where I can make my mark in the literary world...and not wait silently for "someone else's"  approval of what I have written.

I always wonder about Mary Rockwell. She was the wife of Norman Rockwell, and had three talented sons, an artist, a writer, and a sculptor. It was years ago (won't say how many) while reading the back cover of Thomas Rockwell's book, How to Eat Fried Worms, that I first became introduced to his mother, Mary. He wrote a simple line that said, "His mother, Mary, an unpublished author." And in ALL seriousness, those simple words have always haunted me. I can't help but wonder why she was unpublished (after all, she'd have a foot in the door with her husband), and why Thomas chose to write those words in his book cover. I'd like to think it was because he was proud of her, and even though "someone" never gave her the accolades she desired, she still wrote.

So going into the New Year of 2016...I am thankful I live in a time that doesn't look at my sex as "inferior" when it comes to writing, like the generations of women before me had to endure. And I'm thankful I live in a time where I don't have to wait for someone I've never met to tell me that they "like" what I have written. Or worse, to be like Ralphie from A Christmas Story, and wait with bated breath, running to the mailbox each day to see if something has come--usually a rejection letter.

There is nothing better than seeing your book next to other people's books. Sometimes I scroll through Amazon in my genre just so I can see my book with the countless other books on the page (hey, it's my first book, give me a break!), and it makes my pulse race. I don't think there's anything wrong with the cover...I think it's beautiful. I think it's beautiful because I got to embark on this journey with my sister.   

amazon.com/author/jennastjames

Striving for Perfection in Writing...

 

It was during my years of court reporting when my strive for perfection in writing first manifested. And while most people would think this is a good thing, the truth is...it hindered me as a reporter. I could get the transcripts done, but I had a hard time letting them go. I would scour my pages trying to find the slightest error. This often resulted in my transcripts not getting out fast enough.

Fast forward many years later, and the same is still true for my creative writing. As most of you know, my sister and I pretty much did this book from the ground up...from designing the cover to proofing and editing. I would send her my finalized pages to look over and tweak through Google Docs. I would then import the Google Doc into my Word document. One of my biggest fears was that something would get by...either I wouldn't import the right portion, or I'd write over something I wanted to save, or I'd not catch something in the grammar or spelling. The truth is, I've read this book so many times it almost drove me crazy! LOL...and sometimes your mind sees what it's MEANT to see, not what it really sees.

Hence...the response I got from someone. This person did me a HUGE favor and already wrote a FANTASTIC review on Amazon for my book. BUT, when I saw her today she says, "If I found two errors, do you want me to tell you?" I'm like YES! LOL...because no matter how perfect I tried to get my 206 pages, I knew there would be something. I'm just glad she didn't let the two errors influence her wonderful review of my book. :-) 

So I Wrote a Book...

I finally finished my first novel...Picture Perfect Murder. YAY!!! I had to write it under a pseudonym because Buhman, evidently,  is too hard to spell! LOL...that's no lie. Even the ladies at school spell my name wrong...Buham. So I decided a simple, easy-to-remember-and-spell name was needed. Now...anyone who knows me knows I'm a HUGE fan of alliteration (my favorite literary element)...unfortunately, when your name is Jenna, and you want a "J" name to follow, that's difficult. LOL...thank you Jenna Jameson. So the other "J" name I wanted...well, I looked that name up...she writes Erotica...SO NOT GOING THERE...lol...so I went with a half alliteration. St. James. And I like it...Jenna St. James. Sounds very stately and mature (so not me!)...lol...

 So anyway...it's been a long journey, that's for sure! There are so many things I learned about myself during this process:

1) I need to learn to merge my demons. I had difficulty coming home every night and working on the book and then getting up at pre-dawn most mornings before school to work on it some more. I mean, I absolutely loved doing it...but I noticed that other things went by the wayside. For instance, on the rare nights I'd let myself go out with my girlfriends, I struggled between feeling guilty for not writing and feeling jealous of the fact I wasn't spending as much time with them as I normally do. My cousin told me it was because my extrovert was raging war with my introvert. LOL...I like that analogy. But it's true...while I loved working on my passion, I felt left out when it came to socializing with my friends. I definitely need to learn better social management, or I'll die alone and friendless!!  LOL...

*Caveat:  Before I tell you about this next part, there is something you need to know about me. I have an inner crazy person. Now most of you who know me well will say, "Tell us something we don't know!" LOL...I've been told my hair stands on end and my eyes twirl in the back of my head. Just sayin'!

2) As I've said previously, all other aspects of my life had been put on hold while I wrote this book (and continue to be while I start on book 2). And by other aspects I basically mean my exercise routine. I used to go to the gym after school...now I come straight home and write. This has resulted in some weight gain. And it's not like I haven't noticed...duh, I went from working out nearly daily to a complete sedentary nightlife. Here is the conversation in my house nearly every 24 hours:
      
     James: "Don't you think you should be at the gym working out?"
     ENTER WILD HAIRED, EYE TWITCHING, SPLIT-PEA SOUP VOMITING CRAZY JENNA....and while I won't entertain you with the conversation that follows, trust me when I say it ain't pretty! LOL...but I understand the concern. Again, time management, something I don't seem to be good at. I tend to throw myself passionately and wholeheartedly into a project and forget about my responsibilities.

3) Which bring me to my house...eekk! While I've tried to keep up with the surface duty cleaning (dishes, vacuuming, etc), I've completely lost it when it comes to laundry and other factors. Before I was eager for people to come over and I'd entertain...now I just pray people want to stay on the porch (haha)...okay, maybe not quite that bad...but pretty darn close.

But even after all this, I'm super excited to say...I've already started book 2!! 

I also want to thank my sister (whose birthday happens to be today...the day the book comes out!!!)...she has helped me immensely! While I gave her ideas what I wanted for my book cover...she was the one that actually put it all together. She was very patient with me, and told me I could change anything I wanted. She did my book cover AND did my proofing/editing for me. It was so much fun seeing what she'd recommend I'd do with certain pieces. Without her, this dream would never have come true! THANKS JULES...I LOVE YOU!!

I'll be honest and say I don't know if you can actually download it today on Kindle...I'm still not 100% sure how this works...but by tomorrow you can! I hope I don't annoy y'all with my promotion...word of mouth is everything!! I'm also working tonight on CreateSpace...a way Amazon does paperback books...so for those of you who do not have a Kindle can still purchase the book in paperback.

* The book is Picture Perfect Murder by Jenna St. James. Please buy and let me know what you think. Y'all will be the first to read and give me feedback.

Satin Sheets Suck!

When making the bed yesterday, I put my fingers through our current threadbare sheets. Obviously time for new ones!  So I run to Bed, Bath, and Beyond in hopes of finding the perfect sheets. Little did I know how difficult this task would be...there are HUNDREDS to choose from! Now, I know what I want...I want something nice, something soft, something that feels like it's caressing my body as I curl up in my fetal position--obviously that last request will cost extra, but I was willing to cough it up!

I spent a long time massaging and caressing the swatches they had on display that not only was I getting them dirty (definitely NOT getting those!), but I had workers asking me if they could help. After the second worker comes by, I take the hint and decide to go with the sage green satin sheets. I honestly LOVED the feel of them...they were so silky and smooth...they practically DID caress my skin as I ran them over my arm and cheek. I honestly thought these sheets and I had an instant connection! So I purchase them...and bring them home...to a boyfriend that just shakes his head when I pull them proudly out of the bag.

"Jen, have you ever slept on satin sheets before?" he asks as he gives me the whole 'why me' eye roll. "No, but I hear the rich and famous use them because it won't leave creases on your face when you wake up!" I say that last part in a kinda evil way, hoping he'll think I'm talking about HIS face. So I snatch the beautiful, silky sheets out of his nasty hands (he's not worthy of their wonderfulness!) and proceed to wash and dry them.

That night James makes the bed for me while I'm getting ready for bed. NOW, there are a few rules I feel I must tell you about when you get into a satin sheet bed for the first time.  Rule number one: take sandpaper to your skin and rough it up! I did not do this...I had just finished spraying my new, silky sheets down with my favorite lavender vanilla smell, giddy with the prospect of sleeping on this new miracle I had found, when I felt myself falling to the floor. It seems the sheets didn't like MY silky smooth body! Luckily my reaction time (believe it or not) was pretty good, and I was able to stop my lower half from shooting to the floor. Rule Number two: don't move! Don't breathe, don't shift, and don't even THINK about turning over...again, you will end up shooting to the floor.

 It was a rough night's sleep. I'm not gonna lie. It was horrible. When I sleep, I'm kinda like the Princess and the Pea, I have to sleep a certain way and one little thing will have me all out of whack. This morning, my two pillows and one neck pillow were scattered everywhere (without my neck pillow I wake up with headaches...like the one I have this morning)...and under my knees I sleep with at LEAST three, sometimes four (If I can sneak one away from James)...these pillows were ALSO on the floor (hence my horrible back pain!).  ALSO on the floor were my cell phone and kindle (bedtime requirements).

When I'm finally able to turn my body over to see about James, the first thing I notice is that his side of the bed is empty...usually I'm the first one up. Oh, wait, it's not empty...he's just slid down to my KNEES!!!  I couldn't help myself...I started giggling. He opens one eye to glare at me. This makes me laugh even more. I watch in silence (okay, tiny giggles) as he wrestles and slides his way back up the bed. The whole time grumbling about having to keep a death-like grip on the pillow or it will again shoot out onto the floor. He finally makes it back up to the top of the bed, only to have the pillow slide over toward me. Yanking it back, he flops over on his back and shoves it under his head in one quick motion (pretty darn impressive I must say!). "It's like sleeping in an oil spill!" he laughs. That was a mistake, because the laughter has now caused the pillow to slide upward toward the top of the bed. "Oh, great, now my head is resting on 4 percent of the pillow!" he practically shouts!  I can only giggle more...which makes him start chuckling again.  BIG MISTAKE!!!  The pillow slides the rest of the way out from under his head.

PLOP! His head hits the satin sheets. "So, Jen, this is how the rich and famous live, huh?" I laugh! Unfortunately I laugh so hard I start to slide toward the edge of the bed! I try grabbing on to him...but he aint' havin' it! He smacks my hands away...I'm now in a precarious position...one slight, teeny, tiny movement and I'll be a goner! I rack my brain for solutions (McGuyver has nothing on me!)...as I'm thinking, James has gone back to sleep...his snoring has caused movement, and the next thing I know I'm next to my cell phone and kindle on the floor.

Satin Sheets Suck! They will be returned today!

My First 5K!!

5K Mud Run!!

Today I participated in my first 5k! Yep...two friends and I did the Mud Run.  We did what all serious marathon runners (ha) do...and that is get great accessories.  We had cute little pink shirts made up with the saying, "I thought they said RUM!"  They were a hit.  We got a lot of points, laughs, and "love it!" By the time we got to the start line, I were feeling pretty good.  And then they said GO!

Tangela models

My first big mistake was not listening to my boyfriend (I HATE even saying that!) when he kept saying all summer, "You better start training!"  I kept thinking...it's SUMMER, I'm a teacher, I have TONS of fiction books to read, and tons of pages to write. Ugh...it seems my former Marine may have known what he was talking about!  One of my friends that participated with me today said she was just going to "wing it!" when I asked her about training...and that seemed like solid, sound advice...lol...so I decided I'd just wing it, too.  Not very smart!

I did okay the first couple miles...I honestly did!!!  There were mud pits to crawl through, steep cargo nets to climb over, walls to scale and crawl under, straps to walk on top of one foot at a time (very difficult for someone with no balance!)...all these things I did (EVERY ONE OF THEM) while sloshing through mud in 100 degree heat!  Okay, I did have help on the balance beam, but as a special education teacher, I take the "accommodation/modification" approach...my friends held my hands so I wouldn't fall. I have NO balance. When we got to this balancing obstacle, Tangela says, "Oh, Jenna, you are @%!&#$!!!!!"   LOL...she was right.  But even with the help they had to give me, I honestly was still feeling great!!  THEN...the last half of the 5K came crashing down on top of me!!!

It was the last leg...the end was near...I could see the victory (finish) sign in the distance...people laughing and partying, music blaring...VICTORY WAS MINE!!  This may seem like a crazy thought, but by this time, I was beginning to get delirious...only I didn't quite know it. Yes, victory was mine...until we actually came upon the last two sets of obstacles. One set was a huge, bounce house type slide.  Only, there was no stairs to climb up and slide down all graceful like...NO...you had to haul yourself UP THE STEEP RUBBERY, MUDDY INCLINE with only a nub and a rope!!!! WHAT THE !@#$#@!!!!  Who WERE these sadists!!!!

Tangela went first (which was not the norm...she usually was the one to give me help), then Lodder and I went next.  Lodder takes off like a freaking ninja scaling a wall...and I start to panic!!  I get halfway up, and I start to almost cry.  I was physically exhausted, I'd been lifting my BODY WEIGHT for the past hour and a half...and it's a hell of a lot of weight to be lifting!! LOL..and I had a momentary panic that for the first time, I couldn't do this!!  Lodder is sitting on the top of the slide, telling me to grab on and to haul myself up (yeah, like THAT was going to just happen in my panic attack)...and I hear myself crying, "I need Tangela!  I need Tangela!"  Lodder calmed me down, I hauled my butt up the last bit, and we slid down the muddy, steep slide.  I stood up, but I couldn't quit shaking.  Much to my dismay, not three feet away, was ANOTHER rubbery, muddy slide!  And here my friends, is where it gets comical!

Now, I did learn a lot about myself during this journey, and that is I admittedly have unresolved anger issues toward men.  Ha! This was a "women only" run, but men were allowed to watch...AND VIDEO!!!  Now, not all men were there solely to heckle the women, I know that...but I did hear some rather nasty comments...and I wasn't exactly thrilled that they were allowed to video us!  Like we were going to be their comedy relief for the week!  This is important to know...because the next part is why I didn't want ANYONE filming! LOL...so...this god-awful slide is mine to scale AGAIN!  By this time I am shaking pretty badly, and I seriously think I'm going to vomit. The three of us girls decide we will do this together...and we slowly take off.  Lodder and Tangela make it to the top and they turn to wait for me...and I WAS ALMOST THERE!!  I truly was ALMOST THERE...and the worst thing that could happen...happened!  I slipped....

Now, like on the first slide, the only thing you had were these little rubbery nubs sticking out of the steep incline and a rope.  When I slipped, my whole front side hit EVERY FREAKING NUB ON THE WAY DOWN!!!  Yes, this meant with every bump, my shirt inched upward!!  And with my shirt, also came my sports bra!!  I could feel the slide on my BARE STOMACH!!  Oh, the humiliation!!!  When I reached the bottom, I surreptitiously tried to pull my muddy shirt down, while listening for the sounds of babies screaming for their mothers about their eyes being burned!! LOL!!!!! I hauled myself up...and thought...that's it, I'm going to conquer this b!tch!!!! 

AFTER!!

Only I didn't.  I tried one more time, but I was shaking so badly, I couldn't do it.  I had to tell Tangela and Lodder to go on down the slide without me.  I had to turn around and get off.  The other women there were very kind, asking me if I was all right, reaching their hands out to help me...I mumbled I was okay and tried to regain my kick-@ss attitude.  But I was having a hard time.  We finally get to the LAST obstacle, and it's TWO eight-foot tall walls to climb over.  By this time, I was dizzy, unable to speak, weak, I think I was going blind in my right eye, I'm trying not to vomit, sweating, shaking, skin was sizzling in the blazing sun, and I was just really, REALLY ready to be done!  I climbed up the wall, Lodder reaches up (they have finished) to help me steady my leg, I'm leaning over the top of the wall, eight feet in the hair, and I think, "She's going to be pissed if I puke on her!" LOL...and a part of me wanted to, because I wanted them to feel as badly as I did!!!  LOL...yep, I'm kinda a yucky friend when I'm having a heat stroke!!!! I swing my legs over, and down I shimmy.  We walk a few more feet, and there's the LAST eight-foot wall to climb.  I absolutely could not make my feet do it.  I didn't want the girls to have to wait on me, risk getting vomited on, or worse, fallen on....so I didn't do my last obstacle!  Was I disappointed...YES.  But by this time I don't really remember much else.  I know we made it to the finish line, had pictures snapped, and headed to our car.  I asked a lady to take our picture, or rather, I whispered it to her because for some reason I couldn't speak.  The world was moving swiftly and my body felt like it was standing still and ready to implode. I had to close my eyes on the ride home, afraid I'd get sick in Lodder's car.  James called me (I don't even remember this) and he said I was slurring my words so badly he thought I was hurt or drinking! LOL...it's hours later and I'm just now able to sit up without feeling like I'll lose my insides, and I still have a huge headache.  

Will I do it again...HECK YEAH...I'm looking forward to the Color Run, the Glow Run, and any other run I can find.  Because even though I am exhausted beyond anything I can ever remember...I actually was able to do something amazing!!  Something I didn't know my body could do!!!